• Ruth Ann Dunkerly

Change of Mind


I was going to blog today about the new studio, the beautiful new space, etc., but someone asked me about blogging about trust in others & friendships, so I changed my mind about the topic. "Sure, why not?" I said. With this in mind, let's give this a shot.

Trust in others & Friendships.

Let's get a few things in order, this is just my opinion. Take what you want and throw the rest away. I am an entrepreneur and yoga teacher, I have no training or claim to have any training in advising in such a

subject(s).

Trust.

When we trust others for friendship, for loyalty or whatever else comes to mind and when it's broken by one or both people could or may suffer. What happened? Honestly, it depends on the subject. Sometimes people get jealous of others, for what they have, what they have earned or accomplished and the other person feels they want it too. How far is that? If you wanted it, then you go after it, simple as that, or is it?

That might not be it, it just be that the other person is not a friend to you as you once thought. Years ago I remember watching Oprah and she quoted Maya Angelou: "When someone shows you who they are believe them the first time." Now that's deep thought.

Those words for me have stuck with me. You either care, love or stay in contact with that person or persons when they reveal themselves. We already know this, we see it but.....we turn a blind eye to it because you either want to be associated with that person(s) for whatever reason. Over time, people always show who they are. It's our choice whether to accept it or move on. At times, moving on is the best. The other person is fully aware of their actions, you accepted it and they felt it ok to do or say whatever, because you never from the beginning, set boundaries. You accepted. Is that wrong? No! It makes us human. We care about others.

Friends and friendships are loose terms. We have lots of friends, best friends, acquaintance friends, old school friends, Social Media friends, etc.. we surround ourselves with our coworkers and coworkers are coworker friends. Friends at work and not much past that. It's a different kind of friendship. People get attached to others. When the job ends the friendship ends. You move and that great neighbor is gone, no one stays in touch or you expect to be the same if you move back into the area. Either way, we grow. Friends and trust in others go with it.

Nothing happened but the bond you felt wasn't the bond the other person felt also. If it was, the trust and friendship would continue. We take it personally. No one likes me, what happened, where did it go wrong? They are great questions but we sometimes need to move past it since we might never get an answer. We have to be at peace with the results or....go ask them. It's just that simple.

Can you make amends with it? If you really want the friendship and if it's trust related you need to be willing to possibly hear somethings that be a bit upsetting. Nothing ventured, nothing gained. Find out.

It takes one person to make the effort in making it better.

Feuding with a neighbor? If it bothers you that much, go talk to them. If that's out of the question with all the electronic technology we have now text, email or message them. Be open hearted to hear things that might be on their heart also. We sometimes don't realize it might have been a joke gone bad, a move where the friendship really wasn't that strong but you just enjoyed each others company or you grew apart.

The person who asked me to blog said "I will trust again". It's impossible. It is our nature to trust. We trust our banks, we trust food will be delivered to the stores, in the electric company for power, etc. You can not avoid not trusting anyone. Avoiding is (in my opinion) denial in a truth. You might not want to be called out on something you did, you know it was wrong but pride and ego got in the way.

Trust..... Build a new friendship ....we are communal.

Being alone is a choice.

Trusting in others is a choice.

Friendships are a choice.

Do you want to be happy or just talk about how miserable you are (which you can be addicted to the drama) or hold it inside every time you see that person or their name is mentioned?

Take a breath.....be the change.

Namaste

#friendshipsgonewrong #trust #InhaleYoga #blog #RuthAnnDunkerly #movingpastit #lifegoeson #itsgoingtobeok

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