Breathe. Life force.
As I began coping with losing my fur baby, I am breathing a lot more.
At times, it's the only thing I can do.
My heart is heavy as I work my way thru figuring out my new life without her beautiful essence around me. The house feels empty and lonely.
I still find myself rushing home to feed her or take her out and catch myself as I get closer to home only to realize there was no rush.
It is two weeks today, I miss her so.
I shed a few tears and begin anew …….again.
I have experimented on myself with grief and yoga.
I have always said when we don't want to go to yoga is when we should.
I taught classes that evening.
It was an experience.
I'm glad I went.
I had the support of my wonderful students but I was able to keep moving and not just sit there frozen in grief.
I had to move.
It taught me life still goes on and....it does.
I taught me that heart openers right after a loss - felt releasing.....but it only works if you allow it.
I realized, the letting go not of her but of the grief that is allowing me to heal.
I can and will not lose her. There is the difference.
I let go of the pain of loss and allow my heart to open and not close off due to my sadness.
I noticed that when I really wanted to not move and watched my shoulders go inward, closing in the chest that I pulled my shoulders back and opened my heart to more.
I'm not going to lie, it's still a struggle and I have to keep reminding my Self to do this.
It's self awareness.
My sad/bad days will pass....one day.
It's ok, I am experiencing a process.
A process in life.
Grief of any form has as much power as we give it.
It is totally necessary to mourn loss of any kind, from a job to a pet to a person or even a friendship.
There is a true loss there.
Everyone's sense of loss is so completely different.
Who/What appears to be strong in public view can have a total breakdown out of view.
Grief means we are alive, we feel.
We want to feel, it's important.
Not everyone grieves the same.
Some hide it to be strong for others.
Some people didn't and don't feel as close to that person, job, pet of thing as others.
We can't judge.
My yoga practice has kept me moving.
My body still craved the movement even thou my heart is sad.
I wanted to move and allowed it.
I refuse to remain frozen, stuck.....life is passing me by and I want to experience it as much as I can.
Not to miss a moment.
Can I cry at a drop of a hat?
Yep, but tears are cleansing.
Keep your heart open.
Live the life you are meant to have and if you don't know what you are suppose to do, that's half the fun..... it's trying to figure out what it is.