Patience


I am waiting.

I have absolutely no control over what I am waiting for.

Totally driving me crazy!

It can get to me as well

as I see it can get to others.





What are you talking about?

I belong to several support groups with others who are waiting just like me.

We are stressed, we are anticipating the worse to the best case scenario.

We'll play out many scenario's hoping it goes to the way we want it to go to.

Why not?

It's what we geared our head to wrap around

and

we have it all played out in our brains on how to handle it when we get 'the news'.


I'm still lost and don't have any clue to what you're talking about!

I understand.

Only a few know what I am doing, I gave a hint in the last blog (hmm maybe the one before that) on my journey.

Yes, one day Ill open up and tell my whole story.

Right now everything is speculation, all in my head.



It's THE journey that we all have in common.


Ok so I will understand what you're talking about?

Yes, but in a way. (unless you are on a similar journey)

I told myself when COVID 19 started and I was sent home to teach that I would clear out things that no longer serve me. (personally)


And it began.

My life started to unroll many things I had to 'deal' with.

I make choices to keep or move forward and let go.

Completely within was this journey. It is a hard journey to be on.


How many of you made a choice to either leave a job, leave a decision and make a new choice, with the possibility that you can make the wrong choice?


It can be mentally exhausting.

Many have never had an experience such as mine but then again, may have.

It's a journey.

A journey of truth, a journey of fact and a journey of the soul.

My soul.

My existence.

My being.

My journey.


Imagine you are waiting for something you have wanted really bad to happen.

Like waiting for the birth of your child, like waiting for your grades to get posted after a HUGE test, waiting for test results from a health scare or concern.

For me, it's that kind of waiting.





This wait will not only move me forward in clearing out what I need to do but give me a multitude of answers.

What if you are waiting for nothing?

Then I could say I had that experience.

I was vulnerable enough to open up and share something that could be nothing or could be everything.

I am thinking any week now.

I've been thinking any week now

and

I might still not know.

Why?

I might wait and this person will NOT share with me what I need to find out.

It's a chance.

A risk.

A gamble.

I threw the dice and I'm just waiting to see where it lands.


When you wait, other things in life will be highlighted.

You could possibly dwell on the negative (guilty!!)

You could possibly let your (ocd) control get out of hand (guilty!!)

You could possibly be wrong.


Being wrong isn't that bad.

Life gives you what you need for the evolution of your soul.

I want my soul to evolve and this is the tough part.

What I am seeking will

and

could be a hard journey if I make it that way.



If I am wrong, I will deal with it later.


Answers right now are what is important.


One thing at a time.


What have you waited for in life and you made NO MOVE?


_/\_


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